Mr. Scums — For Mature Audiences

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MR. SCUMS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES (14 and Under) CG by: Kevin

Page 1. Mr Scums decided to take a walk down Main Street, wearing only his coat and shoes. He flashed 34 girls before finding an Army-Navy-Air Force-Marines Surplus store. He bought 10 grenades, a machete, and a bayonet. Back home he showed his wife how a grenade worked, then handed it to her. It blew up. Her front split open and she looked like an open-face guts sandwich. Preppy slime oozed into the street and drowned everybody within a 50 mile radius. Mr. Scums stuck his bayonet in his stomach, yanked it so hard it stuck to the ceiling, then threw up a grenade and blew it up. Illustration of Mr. Scums laughing.

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*1* Mr Scums decided to taken a walk down Main street so he got on his coat, and shoes(nothing else mind you),said good-bye to Mrs. Scums and left. He flashed 34 girls before he sawv a Army-Navy-Air Force-Marines Surplus store. He went in bough 10 grXXXenades, a machete,and a bayonet. He went home and din't flash anybody. He showed his wife a grenade , he did something wrong he showed her who it worked, then he handed it to her it blew up. Her front split open and she looked like an open-face guts sandwich. All her organs split open and she was blood fountain. Wverything split open ,gain and preppy slime oozed down the stairs, went into the street and drowned everybody within a 50 mile radius.Mr. Scums then stuckhis bayobette in his stomach, he yanked thestomach so hard it stuck to the celieng. He threw up a grenade and blew up th stomach. [Illustration of Mr. Scums laughing, saying "HA HA!"]

Page 2. The grenade also blew him up. His lungs blew up and snot shot out. With a last gasp he yanked out both eyeballs and swallowed them. 2 years later his intestines were snacks for flies. A bum came in and ate his wife piece by piece, especially enjoying the crunchy kneecaps. The bum puked on Mr. Scums, which was a very bad thing to do. Mr Scums pulled his bloody pulp together and blew the bum up with a hand grenade. He went to K-Mart and bought new body parts for himself, put himself together, and was happy. Moral: THINK OF ONE YOURSELF IDIOT!!! The end.

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*2* It also blew him up. He and his wife side by side were groce. Hislungs blew up and snot shot out and stuck to their food . With a last gasphe yanked out both of his eyeballs and swallowed them/These eyeballs were specially treated they cut out the dark par6 and they felt like jello. 2 years later his intestines wer snacks for flys. Abum came in and ate his wife piece by piecev and he laughed through the whole thing. He espescialoy enjoyed the crunchy kneecaps(sorry for the messy typing i have beenbarfing the whole time.) Just before he left he puked on Mr. Scums, that was a berry bad thing to do. Mr Scums pulled his bloody pulp togther and blew the bum up with a hand grenade. You see after the last story he went to Barfers Anonymous and they cured from his obsession with barf. He saw That his wife had been eaten so he didn't worry too much so he went* to K-Mart and bought new body parts for himself. He put himself together and he was happy. Moral:THINK OF ONE YOURSELF IDIOT!!! The end * see next page

Illustration page. A hand-drawn illustration of Mr. Scums at K-Mart with a shopping cart full of body parts and a cash register. Caption: Mr Scums buying body parts at K-Mart.

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[Illustration of Mr. Scums at K-Mart with a shopping cart full of body parts and a cash register] Mr Scums buying body parts at K-Mart