THE DAY MR. SCUMS THREW UP !! by: Kevin

* 1 * Now Mr. Scums was a nice man except he had one problem he was obsessed with barf. He didn't just like throwing up,in fact he hated throwing up,he loved to eat barf. He loved to smother it on himself. He loved to take baths in it. He loved everything about it except barfing itself. Now on this morning he came down and had some orange barf, barf with milk and sugar, and last barfy toast with barf spread on XX it. He then smothered some barf on himself, and licked it off. This barf had been around the house for 33 centuries,23 years ,and 98 days. Mr. Scums was going up onhis 157 steps, he was at 98 when his stomach twinged, then roared, and then....................... [Illustration: large hand-drawn text reading "BARF!"]

He barfed for thirty*three days straightand still was barfing on the 34th day his tounge popped out it was 4 feet long and oh boy! it had more moves the Jenifer Beals in Flashdance.It was quiverring and jumping like a spaz. He was so suprised that whenhe saw this his eyeballs popped out and hung on by little threads that were bloddy and it kept stretching and bouncing like they were attached to slinkeys!He was stil barfing sohard that his mouth turned inside out. His wife looked at him and hus liver went into her mouth it was all bloody with barf slathered on it. She tried to breathe so hard that she turned inside out , you could see all the little blood vessels popping and yellow thick pus shooting out and her heart pumping so hard then explodingand painting their whole mansion blood red. Meanwhile Mr . Scums was barfing so hard that his heavinglungs and his chopped to bloody confetti heart were dancing with eachother. He was jumping up and down and his feet kicked out his teeth which cut out his mouth.His mouth yelled so loud that his ears felloff ,so he stepped on his mouth and blue slime plopped outl. His barf then turned shychedelic flourescent coulors, that made his mansion red and flourescent. his intestines came out and strangled his head off. As soon as it XX had started it stopped. Mr. Scumsthen pulled his bloody pulp together and got in his barf colored car and went to his neigherhood K-Mart and bought a bunch of new parts for him and his wife. * "2" *

[Illustration of a colorful scribbled mass with arms and legs] "Mr. Scums pulling his bloody pulp together"

He and his wife put th emselves back together agai n. After that day Mr. Scums never did anything with anybodys barf because he was afraid. Moral: DON'T BARF!!!!! THE END